I was raised by a single mom with meager means. During my childhood, my mom experienced several layoffs. For over ten years it was just her, me, and my five-year younger sister. I don’t recall my mom ever making a big deal about our limited means, but I was aware. For example, I remember only a few times getting to go shopping for a new outfit or two. The rest of my clothing were mostly hand-me-downs. This was before thrifting was a thing. And obviously at that time I wasn’t aware of or concerned with reducing consumption by not buying as many new clothes. I just noticed our lack. I remember a time when our used car broke down while we were traveling home from an out-of-town swim meet. The owner of the mechanic’s shop in the town we broke down in drove us back home that night. Even though I had and still have a healthy awe for how my mom managed not only her small income but also her life circumstances in general (talk about strength from the Lord), I determined long ago that I would do what I could in order to not to be in a similar situation when I grew up.
Fast forward to my adult years. I earned a Ph.D, which was my way of hoping history wouldn’t repeat itself. After spending nearly a year and a half in Washington State as a research scientist in the field of nuclear forensics, we moved back to Ohio (where my husband and I had both attended university) for my husband’s new job. I was unemployed for nearly two years after we moved. To be fair, I did turn down a good job offer, but I wanted to get away from research involving radioactivity. Nine years later, it was my husband’s turn to experience unemployment, his through a layoff. This time around, it lasted a year and seven months. We’ve never experienced quite the same hardship my mom had to walk through. Of my own accord, throughout my life I’d learned to believe that money was a source of security. I’d missed the grace that my childhood experience with my mom was a lifestyle of simplicity—necessary simplicity for sure, but it was enough. She quickly learned to be thrifty in order to be wise and save, and I know my in-laws are like that too. Wisdom through simplicity that our families have practiced throughout their lives continue to be examples for us.Thank you to my mom for her willingness for me to publish a little vignette about our past!
But money as security still loomed at the forefront of my mind. My plan since before we bought a house was to pay it off as fast as possible. It sounds like a good plan doesn’t it? But it became an idol. I became focused on what I (and we) would have to bring in financially on our own accord rather than what God would provide. Basically, I looked to myself to be “god.” A few months after my conversation with Ted about Bishop Bienvenu, I noticed I’d begun to wriggle within money’s tight grip on me, starting to loosen its bonds. Actually, the Holy Spirit was loosening the bonds, not me (“… and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God—not the result of works, so that no one may boast.”).~Ephesians 2:8-9, NRSVA, BibleGateway
While it still would be nice to pay off our house debt faster than normal (to have more security … more money to put away for college for our twins in just over five years and our third to quickly follow), I’ve relinquished my idol. Perhaps I’ve given up on it, not believing we’ll ever succeed in that goal or at least at the rate I’d like (and I’m trusting my kids’ college educations to God’s care and concern). But I believe it’s more than that. I believe God is setting me free from the weight of a burden I never should’ve grasped for in the first place. “Give us this day our daily bread.”~Matthew 6:11, NRSVA, BibleGateway We don’t need more than our daily portion. God is faithful to provide, and I’m learning to trust God’s provisions. God knows what it is that we need, and I really don’t need much to be content. I’m also trying to be intentional about acquiring, and not just for the sake of our finances but for the sake of the environment as well. Consumption in our culture has long been an idol. Most of my personal purchases are books, and I’ve intentionally bought fewer this past year.
Another way I’ve seen God working simplicity into me concerns a trip. In the spring of 2020, my husband and I had planned to drive to a Renovaré Institute Alumni Retreat near Charlotte, NC. But you know the story. COVID hit, and the Retreat (along with most other events in the world) was cancelled. Fast forward a few years and the trip has been rescheduled with a new location—Arizona. Not a drivable distance for us in a reasonable timeframe, so I didn’t plan to go. I was disappointed but accepted it … that is until a friend asked what it would take to get me there. I explained our logistical problem of not living near family. We had no one who could easily come over and care for our children if we were to go. At this point, my desire became super heightened. An opportunity arose, so we registered but then realized it probably actually wouldn’t work out for us to go. I was surprised at how willing I was to release it, especially after being almost desperate to go. There were several pieces that needed to fall into place, and my in-laws are graciously traveling to watch our kiddos for us. Through generosity, God opened the way, but only after I surrendered my desire.
On a practical level, I’ve begun the process of going through my drawers of clothes. I have more clothing than I need. I also have much that doesn’t fit, is outdated, or I’ll never wear again. When my drawers are stuffed to the brim, I can’t see all that I have and therefore can’t choose from the whole selection, so it’s pointless to have so many. I’m in the process of decluttering and attempting to only keep (and buy) what I know I’ll wear.
In my practice of simplicity, there’s a common theme of relinquishment—letting go. These are just the beginnings. I pray God will continue to guide me with the grace to keep my eyes open and ears attuned to the Spirit’s direction on how to continue to live into simplicity. I pray this for you as well.
Through the vehicles of fiction and spiritual formation, the point of our “ministry”as retired pastor and my teacher and friend, Trevor Hudson, called it in an email exchange with me is to journey into Christlikeness together. We’d love to know if the Holy Spirit has inspired you to practice simplicity as a result of the podcast and articles. If so, would you mind sharing how you’ve been guided to practice it? As more episodes begin to release, we’ll also be curious to hear what you think of the podcast. Email us at feedback@becomingallflame.com. We look forward to hearing from you!
